She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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