If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
