you should give me head with plastic fangs in
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
