3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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