i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Houston, we have a blender
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize