Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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