her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
BRING THE BAGELS
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
