I'm gonna have a badass scar
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
