It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
