my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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