I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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