Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
