I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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