I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
