Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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