see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
