theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
