At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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