Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
