I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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