Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
