never play flip cup with pint glasses
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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