North Korea, Best Korea!
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
