my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
