i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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