Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Are my feet made of real feet?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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