I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
