i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
