yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
