i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
