Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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