he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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