Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
