just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
