I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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