I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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