you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
