do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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