Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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