I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize