boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
