Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
