I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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