You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
