Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
