So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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