I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
