For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
