I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
