I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize