More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
