My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize