So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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