Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
