he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
