The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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