Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
