Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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