Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
