Im at strip club and am horny
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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