His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize