that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
