super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
