1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
