I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
