Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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