I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
