YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize