I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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