I just pynch a tree in the face
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
