The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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