Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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