Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
