he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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