i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
