He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
