How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Enjoy the penises
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
