You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
