your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Less talking, more tequila
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
